I was not at all prepared for the disasters of putting together a guest list. I’m not sure exactly why I thought it would be so easy—he writes down his family and friends, I write down mine, and voila! In under an hour, we’ve magically come up with the appropriate number of people and no one gets left out or sneaks onto the list! This dream scenario is surely the most naïve expectation that anyone has ever had, because let me tell you, there was nothing magical about it.
I have always wanted a smallish wedding. Maybe 100 people, but certainly no more. Despite my love for karaoke and being extremely and inappropriately loud, I don’t like being the center of attention for long periods of time and crowds make me extremely anxious. I really thought that inviting close family and close friends was the way to go.
Sol, on the other hand, has grown up in a family and community culture that clearly backs the idea of “strength in numbers.” Indian weddings are huge events, and it’s not uncommon to have 400, 600, or even 900 attendees. As he dictated the names of his extended family, friends, parents’ friends, and associates, I grew extremely panicked. Without writing one person down from my side, our list contained almost 200 names.
I freaked. I’m not proud of it, but I did. There may or may not have been a throwing of the engagement ring in his direction. At this point, my overreaction is the stuff of urban legends.
When all had subsided and the ring was back in its rightful position on my finger, we attempted to pare down the list. Sol was in a tough spot—he wanted us to have the wedding that we wanted, but he was bound by family and cultural traditions, as well. I tried my best to be okay with the fact that our wedding would probably be about three times larger than what I originally wanted, and he promised me that no matter how many guests we had, he’d stick by me to make sure that I was comfortable.
To date, we are inviting 296 people, and I’ve made my peace with it. I even count myself lucky that so many people want to help us celebrate our marriage. And, after all, it’s just a party—on Sunday, January 13th, it’s just us two. Just what I wanted.